Hi everyone! *cricket riding a tumbleweed* I'm watching this at Livestream, the AP coverage.
It's alive! I have resurrected the blog so you can hear the ramblings of me - someone who has an unhealthy obsession with celebrity and meaningless awards, you can thank me later.
I have opinions that are both shallow and snobby, so hopefully there will be a nice balance between dress-snarkiness and actual film knowledge.
I hope you enjoy.
My times will be in Australian EDT because I'm not so good at maths, working down the page.
*RED CARPET*
9.50 - Chef Wolfgang Puck is talking about all the Austrians nominated. He's talking about THE man of the night - Christoph Waltz, who is the biggest lock I've seen in ages: Best Supporting Actor for playing Hans Landa in Ingourious Basterds (My favourite of the year)
9.53 - Why is the redhead vamp from True Blood here? (I think her name is Deborah Ann Woll)
9.56 - For a stylist, Sam Worthington's gf is surprisingly off-trend, those hip-accentuated dresses are a bit 9 months ago. And her hair is bad.
9.57 - EFRON ALERT!!! He has spiked his hair. Aw.
9.59 - Virginia Masden? Huh, I was just thinking last night about her, and how her supposed 'comeback' after Sideways...wasn't.
10.07 - The AP Fashion lady is so annoying, And SURPRISE SURPRISE Pat Field is giving special comments. I want my money back! (What? Oh yeah I've paid naught) ...They are talking. I'm getting a coffee.
10.19 - Less talky, more dresses AP!!! Ha! The reporter just called Worthington 'Sam Washington' Oh he's wearing Payless Shoes. "I'm presentin' with J'Lo" - It's hard to hate him.
10.29 - Anna Kendrick - Is wearing the colour of the season - Peach. Ugh. - It's Saab.
Confession - Anna Kendrick's hairline sorta weirds me out. AND STOP THE PRESS: The small town girl from Maine "can't believe she's here."
10.31 - The Tuohy's (whom the film The Blind Side is based on) just said they prepare for the Oscars by taking Tylanol. My kind of people.
10.35 - CHRIST does Maggie Gyllenhaal ever dress like she's not at the beach? She needs to move away from print.
10.40 - JEREMY RENNER!!!! He's amazing. Jeremy! Make out with me!!! NO! Make out with Eli Roth!
10.44 - Tina Fey looks pretty good, but I'm not digging the big hair.
10.45 - Mo'Nique - CLASS. She looks amazing. Doesn't shave her legs. LOVE THE FLOWER IN HER HAIR. (It is a Gardenia, the same as Hattie McDaniel) Like Waltz, she is a lock.
10.48 - AND THERE'S ELI ROTH. Oh Diane Kruger. You so crazy.
10.50 - Oh WOW - Sandra Bullock looks pretty amazing.
10.52 - But in other news - I HATE THIS (Zoe Saldana).
No, seriously MAKE OUT NOW!!!
11.00 - Oh my, Anthony Mackie of the Hurt Locker is quite charming. He is rockin' Burberry. I remember when Adrien Brody won and he was wearing Zegna. Introduced me to that label.
11.16 - Um, the lady from AP just said Jeremy was wearing Payless Shoes. That would be Sam Worthington. Peter Sarsgaard goes 'Oh really!?!' - He knows that ain't right, Renner ain't no cheapo.
11.20 - I don't hate Carey Mulligan's dress. What a relief.
11.22 - James Cameron is sorta coming across as a nice guy. WHAT IS GOING ON!??
11.26 - This AP chick is GOLD - Clooney is, apparently, 'the spokesperson for Hollywood.'
11.28 - Eli says QT was DJing their pre-party. Quentin sounds ROUGH. He has been doing a lot of coke.
AP Idiot just got Worthington and Renner mixed up AGAIN! Bish, please.
Charlize's dress looks weird. Boob covers WTF?
11.44 - Oh Jesus Miley Cyrus is awful. She opens her mouth and just...ick.
11.50 - WOAH. Winslet diamond alert. Now THAT'S a necklace.
OK. The AP's Red Carpet Coverage was shite. Ugh. I think I'll start a new post for the Ceremony, because this is getting too long. Thanks for reading.